You're either for it or against it

There are many topics that people debate over but this probably isn't the kind of debate you were thinking of. This is a great debate, one in which I have recently found myself pondering with friends, family, and co-workers. It is such a strong subject mater that there is no gray area in between sides, you're either for it or against it.

What is this controversial topic you ask? Well It's none other than...farting. If that word offends you then  feel free to insert one of these other endearing terms: passing gas, flatulence, cutting the cheese, letting Polly  out of prison, tooting, trumping, breaking wind, making wind, blowing out the candle, or any other name you prefer.

The debate isn't over what to call this natural bodily function, the debate is on whether or not you choose to toot in ear or nose shot of your spouse. Notice that I italicized and underlined the word choose. It is a choice and in the eight years that my husband and I have been together and of all the memories we have made, I still distinctly remember the day that we made the choice. I only remember it because there have been many times that I wished we had chosen differently.

So, who tooted first....Carl or I? It was Carl. He was suspiciously walking around the far side of the room pacing and I asked him, "What the hell is wrong with you?" in which he responded, "I have to...pass gas". And then it happened, a moment in which I sometimes wish I could take back. I said to him, "Go ahead, I don't care" and so it began.

You can't ever "go back" once you have made that decision and I'm okay with that...most of the time. And now  that we are open about it, I really can't imagine NOT doing it. I think of how uncomfortable people must feel sometimes  when they are with their spouse and trying to hold air. How do those people ever eat onions, broccoli, or beans? How much more embarrassing is it when one "slips"? How inconvenient is it to have to leave the room if you have to toot...knowing that your spouse knows your leaving the room just to toot? If we had to leave the room every time, we might as well live in separate rooms.

If I'm being honest, I find humor in the trumping situation and that is how I am able to cope. One of the funniest moments in our relationship history was created by gas. Carl's gas to be exact. In 2004 Carl and I took our first trip to California for the IMATS convention. We had a free day before the convention started so we decided to take a taxi to the Warner Brothers studio to take a tour. Our taxi driver was lost so he pulled over and Carl bent over the front seat to look at a map with the driver (this was before GPS systems became the norm). All  of a sudden a stench hit me in the face and I proceeded to poke Carl in the butt cheek as a sign of , "Do you smell that?". Carl promptly turned around and his face was beet red because he was trying not to laugh but he managed to point to himself as a signal that he was responsible for the odor. Within a few seconds the taxi driver, with a thick Indian accent said, "Awe, something stinks" and proceeded to roll down all  the windows. We had to use all of our will power not to bust out laughing in the  taxi, however, the second we got out and the driver pulled away we were on the side walk rolling with laughter. Literally, I could not move I was laughing so hard and had to stop dead in my tracks. We cried we laughed so hard. Even now, six year later we both get a good chuckle out of the whole experience. I even kept a card from the taxi service and put it in our scrapbook just as a reminder of that little incident. Carl loves nothing more than to leave strangers in a cloud of his stench, unfortunately, I have  also been a victim of it.

I will end this post with that story  and ask you, are you or it or against it?