Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Don't You Dare Get Married Until You Read This!

Don't You Dare Get Married Until You Read This!: The Book of Questions for Couples
A few months after we announced our engagement and spread the word, my aunt Mary sent me the book DON'T YOU DARE GET MARRIED UNTIL YOU READ THIS  by Corey Donaldson. I flipped through it a few times and asked my husband a few questions, but I didn't really read it. However, when we moved to Pennsylvania and went without cable TV for several months I ventured back to the book shelf to find a good book. This one happened to remain in my collection through the move so I picked it back up and we did sit down and read it...and answered most of the questions.

DON'T YOU DARE GET MARRIED UNTIL YOU READ THIS is a book of over 500 questions for couples on everything from love, sex, in-laws, kids, to household chores. Although Carl and I had been together for 5+ years already, it was amazing how much we didn't know about each other.

I follow and read many blogs and they are all quite different. However, one topic that has come up on numerous blogs and seems to be a theme, are relationships. So, I thought I would lend a helping hand and post 5 of the questions that the book has to offer. I figure that if any of the ladies out there need an excuse to ask these questions of their partners, just use one of my good ole excuses: 1.) It's for a research paper, 2.) Oprah asked, 3.) Your taking a poll, 4.) You read an article "somewhere" (i.e-blogland) and wanted their opinion, 5.) And when all else fails, withhold nookie until they answer!

Here are the five questions....I just flipped and pointed at random.

1.) Which childhood experiences influence your behavior and attitudes the most?

2.) Will it bother you if I use the bathroom with the door open?

3.) How often do you want to socialize with others after we are married?

4.) What makes you feel good about being with me? (This came from the sex chapter)

5.) What do I do that makes you question my love for you?

I will add 2 bits of relationship advise that has allowed my husband and I to have NEVER had an argument....Yes, I said NEVER had an argument.

#1- We agree to disagree. We don't like the same music or movies and have not agreed on many topics but we both go into conversations knowing that about each other. I can honestly say that the only time that I have ever been mad at him was a few weeks ago when he broke the laptop, but then he did the dishes 2 days in a row and I forgave him. (The big baby debate is a separate issue- to have or not to have?)

#2- We play a game called "What do I do that annoys you?". Seriously! And it works. It started one night at Denny's Restaurant...we laid some ground rules. You can't get mad. You can't get defensive. You get one turn each...no rebuttal. You'd be surprised at what your partner says...sometimes you don't even realize that your doing the annoying thing at all. I can even remember what our first "annoyances" were. It annoy him that I smoked while he was still eating. It annoyed me that he took so long to eat. It was actually quite funny, but I never lit up again while he was eating. I also remember that after we moved in together we played again and it annoyed me that he left the toilet seat up and it annoyed him that I left the toothpaste cap off. We now have an agreement that if either one of us does our "annoying" thing than it gives the other person a "free pass" to do theirs. It's all about communication and being conscience of each other and our own actions.

Do you have any relationship advise that you want to share? A tip, a trick, the secret to a long loving marriage? Or maybe what NOT to do? What do you think of the topic of relationships for future posts? Let me know, leave a comment or feel free to e-mail me at cortneylyon@gmail.com.


  1. Great post! I've been happily married for 21 years and for me at least, knowing someone's moral and religious values is important. It's good to find out what one thinks is 'right or wrong'.

  2. That book sounds great...I've never heard of it before...if you aren't going to go through your pastor for pre-marital counseling then this is a great engagement gift. My best advise is love and know yourself first so that you can be your true self when you are dating and not turn into "who you think he wants you to be". ALSO you must always make your partner feel like he is no. one...and that even before your kids. You raise your kids to be independent and strong and to go out and create the life of their dreams. When they are grown and gone you are still with your spouse and you don't want to be strangers or grown apart because you put them aside for the kids. Kids need to learn that they are not the center of anyone's universe...it's good for their independence and self-esteem. We don't argue either and have been together for almost 20 years. We didn't get married until we worked out all the issues of blended families and the first three years were difficult at best...but so worth it! There is not a day that I take my husband for granted and I feel the same about how he treats me.
    This is a great idea for a recurring post theme...especially when you showcase the books very complelling questions.

  3. Thank you for sharing this! Come to find out a teacher at school has this book and is going to let me borrow it! I can't wait to take a look at it!


I love hearing from you, please leave a comment.